Just not feeling the Love

Alright kids its time for a story with Grandpa Bob. Grab a loved one, pull up some rug, and grab some popcorn. This might take a while…

This will be my second of post one the wall. I am sorry for the delay and do to contrary belief I do check the blog almost every day. I just never post or respond. I could sit here and make a long list of excesses such as, I’m too busy, I’m not well with words, I can never find the words to say, I’m not good with computers…and the list goes on. But I will say again, I am sorry.

So where did we leave off…Awe yes, last April…

I was one of the last to leave camp and again one of the first to return. It had a strange feel to it. It was empty. I was placed in the same room and even the same bed as I was for the year. I was blessed with awesome roommates (not to say that James and Nick could every be replaced) who enjoyed going to bed at an early time. We were the old room. I would wake up at times and think that Kaleo was still going on, but it was just advance crew. Advance crew was a sweet time. I was back on the tools building again. Oh how I missed it so. There was no home work and just lots of chill time. Meeting new faces and enjoying the beautiful weather, life was good.

Summer came and went within a blink of an eye. I was camp security. A pretty laid back job. I would work from 5pm to 2am. I know what most of you are probably thinking. “2am…that’s way past Bobs bedtime!” And you know what…It was. But it gave me the morning off and even pretty much the whole afternoon. Now some where in between advance crew and summer I met a girl. This girl was something else. She was out going and crazy and not to mention HOT! I fell for this girl and I fell pretty hard. Her name is Em-J (Emma Jane not Marry Jane like in Spiderman). She would never admit it to you, but I believe that she sought after me. She asked if I’d like to go for ice cream. Ice cream is my Kryptonite. I was all over that. Ice cream? Yes please. I didn’t want to date during the summer, but looking back now…You basically were. She was an ALL star (games person with Stevie-G) and I was the cool security guard. I was able to be a counselor for a week. It was probably one of my favorite weeks. I had an awesome group of boys who basically all knew each other. There were 3 guys that didn’t know the other boys, but they got along with each other great.

Summer came to an end and we all went our separate ways. I was going to stay on camp full time for a year but things changed.

I WENT TO ENGLAND. I was awesome. I travelled around with Alice and Joel Blakey. Joel was only part of our England tour for 2 weeks, but I met up with him for 2 more weeks in Northern Ireland. My whole trip lasted 9 weeks. 9 good, but long weeks. It was hard trying to start a new relationship and travelling around. There would be days that I’d be without Internet and I would go crazy. I would drive Alive crazy too. Out of the whole 9 weeks I’d say that I had the most fun in Northern Ireland. Joel had just moved there a week before and man is he ever blessed with awesome housemates. These boys loved the lord and the loved each other. It was so refreshing to be in such a community like that again. During this time in England I did some thinking and praying about camp. And after much thought I decided that camp was just not going to work out. I just couldn’t afford it any more. I would be loosing $200 a month and my savings were not doing so hot after not working for 2 years. So I had to say goodbye to a place that I loved and move on. And since I had no real place to move on to I thought might as well move closer to the girl. She was pretty happy about this idea as well. She even found me a place to live and even a job. She is so good to me.

I now am living in Maple ridge (Vancouver). It’s not a very big community. It has a lot of horse people. A very big farming town. I have lived here for about 5 months and there have been some good times, and some bad times. Right now I’m in one of those bad time. And I’m hurting pretty bad. Which is why I am crying out to you now.

I’m too busy. Three simply words that pack a lot of punch. Things with the girl have not been going well these past 3 months. We’ve been doing nothing but fighting. She is a very busy woman and isn’t making any time for me. Every time I call her on it she just tells me that she’s busy. I say okay, and then in about 3 weeks I bring it up again. I’m not feeling important. She spends all her free time with her cousin or other friends. I am not near the top of her list. Which in a relationship aiming for marriage I think that I should be. She is from maple ridge and has a lot of friends here. I have none. It’s been very hard to find friends when we bounce around churches. She needs me to have a bunch of friends so that when she’s busy I too can be busy. But it is hard for me to find friends when I only work with one other guy or by myself. Don’t get me wrong, I’m enjoying my job, but at times it can be lonely. These past 3 weeks have been the worst. It has been exam time and I haven’t really seen her. I would make her dinner because she was out studying and 15 minutes before she said she would be home I call to double check to find out she’ll be another 3 hours and blow off dinner. This would happen on a regular basis. It has been very frustrating on my part. And to top it off her and her family are starting a business and she works part time and now is a Mary Kay woman. She is a very busy woman. On Tuesday I popped in to say hello before her Mary Kay party and she asked if we could talk. She asked how I was doing and how I think that we are doing. I told her that I was frustrated with her schedule and I’m tired of begging for some of her time. She then went on to tell me that I am the nicest guy that she ever dated and that I treat her very well, but she is just to busy and cant handle a relationship right now. She wants to go one a little break for a while, a break from us. She still wants to marry me, but I have to make my own life here in maple ridge first. She told me that I was needy and that I need to go out and find friends. I gave up everything for this girl. I don’t think that wanting to spend time with someone that you care about is needy (24 hours a day…yes, but an evening or 2 a week without doing home work and maybe an afternoon on the weekend) I would only see her one night a week, if I was lucky and she would be doing homework. She just never made time for me, but had time for her girlfriends. I gave up everything for this girl and when I said that to her she said she couldn’t give up anything. It is now Friday night and I am home alone. I have a few other friends here in town but when I called them up to see if they could hang out or talk I got the same response. “I’m busy”. When I hear that I hear “you’re not worth my time.”

After that whole talk she even told me that she loved me for the first time. I have never said that to a girl that I was dating because I don’t think that unless you are ready to give up you life for that girl that you truly don’t love her. But if she did love me how was she showing it? I wasn’t seeing it. I was feeling neglected and taken for granted. If you want to see where some ones heart is, look at their day planner and bank statement. That was preached in a sermon many years ago. As I was thinking how she isn’t making anytime for me and if she loved me, she would. Then it hit me…

I was putting her before the Lord.

I had realized that a few weeks before and was slowly, very slowly trying to correct that, but I guess the Lord knew that I needed help.

I haven’t been sleeping well and it was a rough week a work and I kept messing up and costing the company money. I believe that I was finding my self worth in earthly things. I am Bob Drinkwater. I’m a carpenter (but can’t do his job well), I have a girl friend (who doesn’t spend time with me), I drive a truck and have a bike…and I’m a Christian (last on my list). Once I realized this, things started to get better. First I am a child of God…then I’m Bob Drinkwater the carpenter. Still haven’t talked to the girl and probably wont for a little while seeing how she is that one that called for the break. I miss her so and would love nothing more then to get back together but many things must change for that to happen.

Much prayer is needed. I miss you all very deeply and would love nothing more then a big group hug around Jim.

The Devil tells nothing but lies and in our weakest moments its hard not to believe them. For me the lies are… You’re a loser, you’re alone, you’re not worth any body’s time, and if you were gone no one would even know nor care. It’s really hard not to believe them.

Bit of an update.

Hey guys,

Start off... I miss you all incredibly. Been reminding myself of the good times alot lately. Wishing I could see you guys again.

Secondly... General life is pretty good right now. I just quit booster juice, so I will be only working at the Casino during the summer. This means I only work a few nights a week and the rest of the time is Tan, Tan, Tan! :D I plan on being obnoxiously brown. Rob and I have now been dating for just over 4 months, he's still wonderful! I'm moving in with my friend's Mellisa and Dirk tomorrow night. I'm really excited to live there. It should be really good. I'm planning on going back to school in September. Either here in Prince George or down in Kelowna. Depending on how much money I can save. I'm going for my Bachelor of Commerce degree. :)

Thirdly... I am in need of some serious prayers right now. I have been really sick for about 3 months now, and the doctors can not figure out what is wrong with me. I've now gone for blood work, two ultrasounds, a CT Scan, and multiple urine tests. On May 5th I get to go see the specialist. I'm really worried about this though because he has to put a scope inside me and look at my organs. Kinda freaky to think about. :( This last week I have been so sick that I can barely stand or walk for more then a few minutes. I found out that I also have a kidney infection now. So I've been missing alot of work lately, and had to come home early today. I just don't want to feel sick anymore. And the drugs they have me on now are really making me sick because you can't eat for 2 hours after taking them or for 6 hours before you take them. So it's really hard for me to be properly nourished right now.

So any words to the big man would be much appreciated right now.

Love you guys so much!

Your sis,

Hopeful.

Some times you just feel like you want to hear everyone's voices again...

These videos don't have EVERYONE... but it's a start.

This is the link to Matthew's Youtube

http://www.youtube.com/user/hopehelphonesty#p/a

This one is James'

http://www.youtube.com/user/vandershnifter

Love you guys!

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Just so everyone knows, Nick and myself are the new administrators for the blog. If you have any trouble with posting or have any ideas and opinions on layout and whatnot, just talk to us!

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almost a year!!!!

K7!!!!
i figured it was about time i write something on here! can you believe it has been almost a year since k7 finished?? weird!!!
I would have to say that this year has been an incredible one!! tons of moving around... but sooo good!

my basic itinerary since kaleo...
prince george- camp- prince george- camp- manitoba/ontario- oregon- surrey- thailand- china- mongolia- china- mongolia- thailand- china- mongolia- china- and now i am back chilling in mongolia again! but i will only be here about 2 more weeks before i head back to canada!

what's next?? well as a lot of you know i think... i was hoping to move right to vancouver to go to hair school. however after talking to my friend that i was maybe going to move in with and finding out how expensive vancouver actually is i had to do some thinking and praying! she recommended that i save money for 6 months to a year before even moving to vancouver. i knew that if that was where i was supposed to be that God would provide the money i would need... but i was really praying for clear direction...

so...the other day i got an e-mail from a friend who works for folklore(a tree planting company) and he told me he was looking for someone who could be a quality checker for the summer.(basically i just go behind the planters and make sure they are planting their trees properly) so as of yesterday you are looking at folklore's newest checker!!! 3 months in the bush baby! there are a lot of details of how this is a clear direction for me... but the short version is that this is where i really feel and have peace that the Lord is leading me!! so no vancouver yet... instead i am heading back up north!

please pray though!... i have been looking at trying to find a flight back to canada and haven't found anything reasonable yet... i am going to talk to a travel agent today. so hopefully!!

here are a few highlights from my time here in asia as well...

-being in china for chinese new years!!!- craziest fireworks you will ever see!
-having Christmas with my family!
-a big reunion of missionary kids over Christmas!!!
-beaches in thailand!
-hanging out in china last month with a british family... i helped look after their 3 little boys-that i adore!!
-having time to do more artwork!!
-getting hit on by lots of asian guys!
- getting a literal taxi ride in a police van!!!
- trying to start the first underwear tree at the only ski hill in mongolia
-a FREEZING cold campout over new years!
- market shopping!
- a free gym membership to a super expensive gym!(at first i thought it was $200 a month... but found out it is actually $250 a month! crazy!!)
-picnics, hiking, and playing on the frozen river in the mongolian countryside!
- and tons more!!

REALLY i am SOOO thankful for this time i have had back in asia! i need to get going... but i hope you are all doing well and i think of you often!!

HEY GUYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wooooooooottt!! What’s up!!! AHH I miss you wonderful people, I hope you are all being awesome post kaleoers and rising to every occasion life throws out you. How sweet is life!!! woooooo!!!


I am praying for you all, amen to the power of prayer- YEAHHHH UH! prayer brought me to art class which i love!!!! that picture is me BTW!!!!!!!! what will i do with it .. i dont knowwwww?? Alright so here’s the deal you all need to pray for my art class because I care for them and none of them are Christians... they are wild ! That’s all…


yeaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
p.s if I get one comment I’m going to scream!
p.s again this is a crazzzzzzy posttttttt wooooooooooooooot

prayers may finally be answered

well i dont want to get my hopes up but it looks like my dads trial will be over before my little brothers birthday (may 9th) which means he should be out in just a couple weeks. cannot even begin to describe how happy i am right now. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh. thats me shouting i cant actually do it cause im in the library studying for exams...

john 11:40 "did i not tell you if you believe you would see the glory of God?" :))))))))

love you ALL

Birth Dance Party 4 Hales!

Thought you guys might want to know.....

I'm Getting Married! If you haven't seen the facebook updates then I thought I's let you all know that I have recently become engaged. Now there is a long story behind it all that I don't have the time to tell now, so to whet your appetite perhaps you can check out the proposal video on youtube at this link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6K-r3Ap4yaU

Love ya,
Nick "Pilgrim" VanSnick
One Who Journeys

My heart is darker than these oceans, my heart is frozen underneath...

Hey family,

I need prayer, I am drowning. As you all know my life hasn't been the easiest on me, when I was house sitting my house last week I found an AA handbook, a sheet of times and places for meetings, no wine in our house (which is very unusual) and anti depressants. I am about to head home in a very short time. With all of what ever this is going on I am going to need strength for me and my sisters, because I know after I confront my step dad and find out for sure, I will hold responsibility with my mom too, responsibility that I can not run away from like I did the last time. I really hope that it is not what it looks like, but I really don't know what else to think, especially seeing first hand how my mom can get. God and I aren't on very good terms either so I am finding it hard to lean on him for support and to be honest I think this is the most honest I have been in a long time, (which may shock some of you, since I have never been one to lie about how God and I are). I need help... As much as I tell people over and over I am, I am not okay.

Your sister,
Mercy <3

“They may take our land, but they can’t take our freedom…”-Braveheart

Alright so to get you started you need to be reading this as grounds keeper willie from the Simpsons, and if you haven't seen the Simpsons then your probably a fan of Shrek....(donkey?). ready? ok.

Well I'm sitting in a starbucks (of course) in Edinburgh Scotland right now. yes. Scotland. why? because I'm on an adventure of a life time.... here's the story:

In January I sat down with my parents explaining to them, "mom, dad... I'm a bum.. I have no job, not going to school.. and well yes.. I'm a loner.." shocking right? yes hard to believe Rivera doing nothing (shopping is fun, the movies are fun this... is not fun!) ... So my dad suggested that I go work abroad. umm no thanks I'd rather stay at home surfing the web and slowly become agnostic. <- agnostic? well I'm not the best person to be living outside community.. So for about a week I was looking at going to New Zealand, there's a lot of fruit picking work, long hours, hot sun, back breaking... hmmm alright looking somewhere else. how about... the UK? I could travel to europe on the weekends! So I got all my paper work filled out, a couple trips to Toronto to the british embassy, a few £'s, and watching post-apocalyptic, zombie movies, and little Britain/the office uk/ and simon pegg.. I was all set for the UK. I have a 2 year working visa, so I can work in wales,england,n.ireland, and Scotland. On March 21st I landed in London.. well not really london, my plane wasn't able to land due to fog. LOVELY! and then for some reason they wouldn't let us off the plane for about 3 hours because we landed at a national airport not international.. I could write a post about that experience alone.. lets just say.. police surrounding the plane, reporters taking photos, people threatening to leave the plane when not allowed to... WELCOME TO LONDON RIVERA! ahha then I had to buy a bus ticket to london which was about 39 miles away.. good luck! made it to london, got lost on the underground, made it to my hostel and slept for the rest of the day. I only spent a week and a half in london, personally I find it a tad dirty, busy, and well my canadian fashion made me look homeless (hello H&M).. Also there was a protest durning the week, with anarchist, B&E, and masked V for vendetta people everywhere. I've meet some great people from all over the world at the hostels I've been at, and some great girls form Quebec. haha love them. Well now I'm in scotland, and Loving it. Edinburgh is BEAUTIFUL! soooo much history, great stories! went on a free walking tour and learn't so much, suggest if (when) you come over (to visit me) we'll go on the tour! at the end you go to a pub for fish and chips or haggis and a pint. I find haggis spicy.. but good. I've been in edinburgh staying at a hostel for 4 nights and on monday I'm moving to Callander Scotland! at the base of the Highlands just north of Edinburgh (LOVE!) I got a job working at a fudge shop (my employer also owns a souvenir, american antiques, and sweets shop(s)) So I'll be working between them. Well this is the news for now I guess. I do have lots of side stories.. maybe not ok for the blog.. hehhe, spiritually I'm in Love with God! I just need to find community.. I've been looking at stirling baptist wich is 25 min form callander.. just need to find a ride.. hopefully I get sundays off.. I think generally I'm happy, i haven't felt depressed in about two weeks.. maybe It's over powered by stress... but I rather stress then depression., this is a life experience I need (wanted) to have, I've always wanted to travel, get out and see the world... yea it's the UK and there's sooo much more to the world then this, but it's a start right?

(FYI ladies) Come to scotland!! the men a gorgeous, their accents are Sexy and if you don't mind a guy in a kilt... close your eyes when it's windy!!! and well If you get a save the date in the mail.. don't be surprised!!! ;D

Love you all soooooo much!!! it's getting late and I need some sleep before I'm off tomorrow to Callander.

LOVE RIVS

Quick attempt at a post

Hey everyone,

Don't have much time but here is a quick update for you. I live in NB again, in a house with my friends. It is pretty awesome. I am hoping to be a day camp counselor at the YMCA this summer but that job doesn't start until the end of June so I need a job until then. If you guys could pray that some opportunities come my way and that I would be smart enough to see them, this would be super most excellent.

While I don't have a job right now, I do have loads of time to hangout with people which is great because I never really got to do that on PEI and it feels good to spend so much time investing in relationships again, like we did at Kaleo. Just talked to Marissa on fb and she is going to Mongolia soon to visit, which is CRAZY AWESOME! so keep her in mind too.

Love you all! Matthew Newton is an incredible bro! I am working on scheme to be in ON around may 21 to visit yall Ontarian dwelling folk and it is looking solid so far so I will keep you guys posted.

Peace from the Coast in the East, your brother Timothy.

P.S. While Nate's hand is impressive lets be honest here, Jim's head is what makes the photo

Just so yall know. . .

That's my hand! That's MY hand on Jim's Forehead!

Exciting times!

Well, I'm about due for a blog post. The past week or so has been very eventful and I would like to inform you about such things. First of all, I am apprenticing as an electrician! Not sure If i had told all of you but yeah, I'm working at Atco Structures and Logistics; wiring those Atco trailers that you seen on construction sites and camps. I'm a doing very well in electrical and have proven myself skillful in a short manner of time. More on that later.
I was almost in a very serious car accident. By the grace of God, Me or my car did not receive a scratch. Last week, I had a spell of dizziness and was not able to drive anywhere because of my disorientation. I though the dizziness was gone but two days ago, it made a reappearance. For some reason, traffic had stopped on the highway and I didn't really clue in that I had to stop (due to my lethargic state) until I was around 50 feet away from the stopped car in front of me. I was going 100 km/h and had no where near enough time to stop (you need around 240 feet at that speed) so I bailed into the ditch but was able to continue driving afterwards. I can only describe it as God literally taking the wheel from my hands and perfectly parking the car around two car lengths in front of the car I almost rear ended. Praise the Lord! As for the dizziness, The doc said it most likely from high-ish blood pressure (140/72 vs. normal 120/90) and a headache-less migraine. I am getting bloodwork done today and will see if there anything else contributing. As for the high blood pressure, I have been putting on too much stress on myself at work. We just finished a month of overtime and we had to work very hard just to keep up. I pushed myself waaaaay beyond the limit and my body said it's had enough. Every muscle in my body is super tense. It is so bad, I can feel blood flow in my head being restricted by the tenseness in my neck. So as a result, God said slow down (Ha! literally!) and I have a nice, long, doctor-officiated break to relax. Pray that I might be able recover from my stress inducing pace.
That same day I had the first dizziness spell, I was also prophesied over. Wow! this was a treat. It was given by some dude I had never met before from the States. In the prophesy, he said that I was to be a builder in the nations, both physically and in the kingdom. He said that I had a "platter" of talents and abilities that God had given me and that God had a great smile with the way I had humbly laid them in front of Him and let Him choose where he wanted me to go with these skills. Because I had done that, God will allow me to use all of the skills in my lifetime (Yipee!) but the one I desire most, will become the center of my ministry. He prophesied that God will give me the desires of my heart and that I will be successful in whatever I lay my hands to. He said that I had a great mind, and that I will use that mind to create financial release for others. And because of God's provision, I will be able to all this! Pretty flippin' cool eh?
As for the famjam, I recently moved in with papa and absolutely love it! That dude is so cool and we can farts around all day if we really wanted to. Totally a blessing from God. As for mama, she was recently admitted to the royal alexandria hospital to receive some medication for some health challenges. Please pray for her healing as I know that God wants to heal her but there is something that is preventing him to do it. It might be pride, unbelief or unforgiveness, Pray against all of these in the name of Jesus Christ.

That's pretty much all I can think of for the moment. I love you all and I can't wait until the next time we are able to see each other again. I am praying for you and thinking of you often.

God bless,

Masterpiece