I am writing this with a sorrow filled heart. A heart that beats but wishes it would stop suddenly to keep anything else form happening to it. A few days ago Kaitlin had another MRI which results I have even a hard time typing out. Kaitlins tumor has returned bigger and changed. Not only has the tumor returned to its original state and position. It has also moved and spread to inoperable parts of her brain where it will continue to grow and further spread. And now I am faced with a decision. A surgery is going to be happening on either Thursday or Friday and as some of you now know, or all of you depending on how tight some of your lips are. I am heading out to Briercrest as well for this following year and this would set back my leave date significantly, probably push it back up until first day of classes. I feel unbelievably torn since I have been anticipating getting out of here for months now and I can taste the freedom on the tip of my tongue. I feel a slight peace about what’s happening but still feel like I should stay due to ties with my mother and sisters. I have yet to discuss this with Olivia but she is due to return home tonight from west coast trail. From this point there seems to be no hope at all. At first there always was some distant light but right now that light is diminished as we face this new reality. My only hope for life now rests in her salvation and the Lord. I guess sometimes the miracle itself isn’t the miracle we expected.

Just stopping by...

Hey Briercrest folk,

I will be driving through Caronport tomorrow (Wednesday) on my way back to Beaumont . I'm thinking I'll be there around 9 am and would stay for a couple of hours. I would really like to see you all so come find me if you can!

Trent

They're Here!

Quick note so as to not steal Matthew's thunder: The Yearbooks have arrived!! If you haven't done so already, please let me know where you want yours sent; otherwise it will go to the home address we have for you. Briercrest will get a box full, via Josh Whincup, who should arrive there on the 7th or 8th, which is how long it would take by mail anyway. Hmmm... will Haley and Ben be there, or not???

And a quick question: I could send with the Yearbook a couple DVD's with about 6 GB of photos, arranged according to topic. The masters are ready, but it might take me an extra day or so to make the copies. Go for it, or send the books sooner? Comment with your vote!

Hey everyone

Hello my brothers and sisters. Firstly I miss you all and wisht that you were al less busy so i could talk with you more often but I do know what it is like to work and see people before school and taking vacations so I can't blame you. I know that we are still very much so connected in prayer.

I will start with the lighter news. Two weeks ago my boss ran out of work and so i was layed off, being the only seasonal guy on the crew. I am fine with this because it gave me the chance to enjoy the last bit of my summer and I am doing alright with money so nothing really negative there. With some free time I got to go be a special friend to a challenged camper at my old camp in NB. I loved the week, saw many good friends, had a solid spiritual retreat and had a pile of fun. Something that might make you all excited is who I got to chill with all week. So Brady from K4 who came out to BC to visit with the guys from B-crest, he also went surfing with us, is playing in a band called Atlantic. This band happened to be playing all week at the camp I was at! I got to chill with him, talk about the year, hear about his life and his ministry, have a canoeing adventure and worship to his wonderful drumming. Praise God for extremely awesome meetings like this! Yeah really good week.

Now the heavier stuff I guess. When i got to my sister's apartement in NB I was told to call home. I called my mom and she told me that she got some test results back. They found cancer in her bone marrow. Basically it breaks down like this, she has "months" left and there is no real hope for a treatment that will work. They have tried 5 treatments and all of them have failed so now our chances are very small. This hit me pretty hard cause we all thought we had years not months. I now need to figure out some stuff about this year and I am still letting it sink in.

I guess I am just laying this out for you guys, keeping you all in the loop. This makes my heart hurt and i can say that I am blessed because this is a strange feeling. I guess pray for me and my family and my mom. And stop being busy and give a shout.

Love you family, cheers.

All my life I've just avoided talking about hard times. If they are things that need to be talked about I make them not so hard by joking and lightening up the mood of the subject. Today I don't really know how to do either...

My mom woke me up this morning to tell me it was time to start getting ready to go to my Auntie's father's funeral. My mother's brother married a woman... and said women's father... So he has no real relation to me, but I have known him most of my life because my Uncle and Auntie have always lived far away so when ever they come to town we hang out with her side and his side of the family. Before my mom exited my room she turned back and said, "Bria, I need to tell you something." She couldn't even finish the sentence before she started crying. She informed me that a friend of mine, whom's mother she is really close with, attempted suicide. She is now in the hospital here and has been since yesterday morning. No one is allowed to see her but her mom and her brothers (Her Father passed away a couple years ago) but her mother has said it's ok to ask for prayer. My mom turned to leave and again and turned back saying, "I guess I better tell you all at once." Then continued to tell me that my friend, Izaak's dad passed away this morning. Izaak is currently in Ontario filming a movie, so I'm going to call him after I finish writting this... but it has been a rough morning.

I don't really know what to do right now, informing you was really all I could come up with.

I love you all, please help.

Living in the Hope.

"Out of sight, Out of mind"

I started to flip through some Kaleo photos tonight... I had to stop about 25 pictures in. I miss you all so much. Any messages or Skype dates would be much appreciated.

Love you all,

Hopeful.

Hey fellas

I don't typically pray or ask for prayer for just any ol' thing and I would categorize the pulling of my wisdom teeth under that. I woke up this morning, the morning of my appointment and thought "Why not? Maybe I'm not engaging prayer enough". What's the harm in asking for prayer for something like this. I may have been thinking lately that praying everyday is enough. What if it's not? What if a big part of someone's personal prayer life is the requesting of prayer from others? Even for simple things. It's a good start anyway. I would appreciate this greatly. I don't know what specific things I would like you guys to pray for so I will leave that up to you. In addition, as another general prayer request, if you wouldn't mind continuing to pray for my Kaleo word of Courage. It seem the word is still very strongly applicable to my needs these days. Thank you all for your support and friendships.

David

Coming Soon To A Mailbox Near You!

The proof of the Yearbook arrived today! All I will say is... well, you will just have to wait! Some very minor adjustments and the order should go in tomorrow. This one took less than a week from the time I placed the order, so I'm hopeful we will have the works here soon. And then to you...

The blackberries are out!! YUM!

well this is long over due.

Many times have Marissa and I tried making videos for the blog and failed! And a little info bob doesn’t check the blog…. So Matthew and I have been keeping him updated. John is a dancing machine, and ellie is rock’n it being a counselor!

Last weekend I had 3 days off so I went to salt spring island to camp, by myself. It rained a lot! So Saturday I spent in my rain suit driving around on a scooter, went to the Saturday market and the library. Sunday it cleared up so I traveled the island and ate at some cute café’s. Headed back to camp Monday morning.

I’ve been around many great people this summer (many from Briercrest, which makes me what to go… but I’m not)

My minds all over he place so this will be too…

This summer I’ve gotten really close to the couples here at camp. They’re at a different point in life, which makes for different conversation.. haha. And they are older so I’ve been looking up to a few of them too. One of the couples I’ve gotten close to has just recently been brought into my “thoughts” I’ve opened up to the wife telling her things I’ve held back from a lot for you. We also share the same dream, living in community, sharing a big piece of land building our own homes growing our own food and making our own clothes. And having a small store on site of things our community makes. She is truly someone I want to keep in my life.

I’ve been offered a position here at camp to be a senior kitchen helper for the year. And well I accepted it. I’ll be here… for another year… Hahah it makes me laugh… but I’m excited to hangout with the staff I’ve gotten to know so well.

Because I’ll be here for a year, I’ll be heading home tomorrow… as in Tuesday. For a month. I’m not going home for the sake of seeing family.. I would’ of been here till Christmas if I wasn’t going through this again… and well my depression is hitting harder then ever.. I‘m not able to function at camp without braking down into tears, or having a panic attack.. Which is happening twice a week for me this past month. So yesterday I packed up my room putting everything into storage but my two suitcases and moved to the badke’s home till I leave. I really wish things were different. That I didn’t have to leave. That I could stay and say I did a summer at camp. Also something else is wrong …. I’m not too sure yet what it is.. But I had to get a blood test for 7 different things their checking on.. And now they want me to get some scans when I’m home too.

My dad has a job now.. He’s been living in Montréal for the past 2 weeks. And while I’m home my mom and I are driving down to visit him… and there is talk about me going to NB to visit my grandparents, they’re both not doing so well. And they live in Riverview… hello nick and Katie! I might miss nick… but Katie you’ll be around eh?

Then around the 15th of September I’ll be heading back here just before the kaleo’s arrive….

It’s going to be really hard for me to be leaving this place. I haven’t had the break from here yet. I left for a week but just hung out in vic, Courtney, and Duncan with my parents. I haven’t been “home” in 8 months. After that week I came back to camp and helped clean your rooms…. Hahahh that was hard!!!

So I hope I don’t break down even more and fall into the world’s traps. I’m going back to London.. where my mom, sister and sisters husband are living in a 2 bedroom apartment with my dog and their cat… and our home in Sarnia is up for sale but my mom is taking me there to live for a few days… but I don’t think being alone is the best for me, I’m to unstable. I feel numb

Crying Girl: [reading from paper] I wish we could all get along like we used to in middle school... I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy...
[about to cry]
Damian: [shouting from back] She doesn't even go here!
Ms. Norbury: Do you even go to this school?
Crying Girl: No... I just have a lot of feelings...
Ms. Norbury: Ok go home...
[girl walks off stage]
Ms. Norbury: Next!

Which side holds greener grass?

I know this is probably getting rather repetitive for you all to read my problems with where I am at as I seem to be teetering on the edge right now, and I am sorry, but here I am writing yet another blog about the grey area that I have been residing in for the past what feels like forever.

Home lately has been a nightmare, I am not liking it at all. And I feel like life in general is slowly suffocating me. I got in a fight with my mom and I walked out and went for a drive. I scared myself on this drive honestly. I found that I was wondering how much more of the suffocating I could handle, and I ever so casually wondered how many Tylenol I could take just to pass out (I am losing sleep over the pressure of work and life maybe it would have been a welcomed rest). Thinking this freaked me right out and I immediately decided I needed to call and talk to someone about how I was feeling. To talk about the things going on in my life, as I have not talked to anyone about it, or feel comfortable talking about it even. I got a hold of my very beloved friend Kristie Voth, and we talked for a while.

We talked about some of the struggles I am going through and how I am feeling. We talked about honesty and truth. So here is a little story from this past week:

As I sat in work the other day on a lunch break with a co-worker and a friend they noticed my tattoo on my arm the one I have in Hebrew. They started asking me about it and when I told them it was a name for God they were intrigued. They asked me if I was religious, and I found myself telling them I was not sure. I told them I believed the teachings of the Bible, but if it was something I was actually going to follow, I was unsure about. It shocked me as soon as it came out of my mouth. We talked a little about the church and about Christianity, and once again the asked me how I felt about it, and how I would classify myself. I once again told them it was something I was trying to decide.

The honesty was refreshing, I don't have to pretend around them or go through motions, they know I am exploring different things. So here I have decided to be honest. I am going to stop ignoring the fact that I am ignoring God right now. I am going to be honest with Him (since he knows already) and tell him I am ignoring Him. And tell him why: I am sick of rules, I am sick of feeling guilty, I am sick of feeling suffocated. Another thing I talked about with Kristie is the fact that I might be angry towards God. And having just re-read this paragraph and the conversation with Kristie, I think I might very well be angry with God.

I don't really know what else to tell you. I am feeling exhausted from everything in my life right now. And I am ready to quite on so much right now. And I am very curious about what life would be like outside of this little bubble I have been confined in all my life. I mean I am not wanting to give up faith, but I am not sure where I am at with it. I do not know exactly what it is I am wanting to explore seeing how I am not big into alcohol, drugs, or sex. But I am wanting to explore something, I want to see what life is like beyond these walls. Maybe many of you do not understand, maybe you do. But as to some people I have talked with in this hypothetical but not so hypothetical situation, the old cliché lines that have been given, and heard over and over do not help, it only makes me want to leave the bubble more.

I am wondering if grass is greener on the other side, and I think I will find out soon enough.

Abby

End of Summer

Well friends, summer has reached its end for me. I am currently writing this in my new room here in rez. Today has been my first day at Eastern, including some pizza from Dominoes that was choice, a whole day of sweet awkward introductions, some slacklining, and frizbee. All in all, I would call the first day a success. We are leaving tomorrow morning for a five day camping trip. Please be praying for me in this time. Pray for freedom of expectations, pray that when I have feelings of doubt, and fear, that I would be able to remember, and cling to the promises of our Lord, pray for community. I have been learning a lot about faith the past week. Its funny, I was just talking about stepping out in faith to a friend of mine and now the Lord is saying to me, Ok, its time for YOU to step out. I asked my dad if he thought that Abraham left Canaan reluctantly, or with fear and doubt. He said that he thought he did, and said that if we don't have the most positive feelings about what we are being called to (great fears and doubts, insecurities) it is an even bigger step of faith, and with that God is pleased. I suppose that you may be able to tell how I feel right now by what I have written so far. Let me just say that after the end of the first day, the Lord has been quite good to me, and has been so gracious and gentle.

I have some homework that I need to do before tomorrow, so I best be going. But before I do, I must share with you some words that Paul wrote to some of his loved ones that I relate to entirely. "I thank my GOd in all my remembrance of you, always in every prayer of mine for you all making my prayer with joy, because of your partnership in the gospel from the first days until now. And i am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. It is right for me to feel this way about you all, because I hold you in my heart, for you are all partakers with me of grace, both in my imprisonment and in the defence and confirmation of the gospel. For God is my witness, how I yearn for you all witht eh affection of Christ Jesus. And it is my prayer that your love may abound more and more, with knowledge and all discernment, so that you may approve what is excellent, and so be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God.

Much love, Jer

ps. I am officially a sellout... I got a cell phone. Here's my number - 484 250 4714

CSI Widji

Making my own Kaleo

Hey everybody,

So you may or may not recall that I asked for prayer for my family a while back. Well I have come to a point where I am trying to organize my family into more of a church than what it has been. Really we just have never been good at talking so I am trying to set up a "chapel" for my family where we start talking.

I remember Jim telling us to go out and make our own Kaleos and I guess this is the Kaleo that God wants me to start with. I am hopeful for things to come and I would love to see my family grow in new ways. I would really love it if you all could pray for my family and for me. It is strange because I am the baby in the family but I am the one leading and organizing. It is a new role for me. I really would love prayer for this first time together, that it could be the first of many good family chapels and that some fruit would come from this time.

Really missing you all quite a bit and know that my door in PEI is always open to visiting Kaleos (free accommodations on PEI!!! Wow Tim! That is pure BRIBERY!) YEP!

Cheers Kaleos brothers and sisters and grandpa (BOB), love you guys.

A Post-Egypt Update

So this vid was taken during Egypt. There's much more than the few minutes here but hopefully this gives you a general idea. I'll be glad to answer any questions if you have any.

Love ya, Lateskee

Nick

why hello my famjam

so i have often thought of you guys this summer. I would love to hear from you guys about your lives and what's going on and how i can help to encourage. I love you guys and i still want to be in contact with you guys. This summer hasn't been the best for that, but i would love to get a skype conversation going with any of you guys.

well that wasn't really why i was going to write on the blog, but it just came out and I liked it. I was going to write to let you guys know that i am in an odd position right now. i am uncertain if i want to continue on to briercrest or stay in the cities, where i want to stay and live. have i told you guys that i want to become a professor? well i do. so prayer for attentive ears and hearts, and well just sensitive to the spirit in a very fast paced environment that is my job. i guess that's also why i want to talk to you guys, because i love the thoughts you have and i respect all of you a lot.

oh and a "Yay God" is that i got into a very deep theological conversation with some 10 year olds about the existence of God, and how God was always there, and how no one created him, and how he made the whole universe. it was super cool and fun. oh and one of my bosses commented to me "so gentle, but very direct" during my interacting with the kids. pretty cool eh? (just for you guys, which reminds me, someone asked me where i got my accent, and he was from minnesota, with a stronger accent then me!)

i hope this message finds you dwelling in the spirit and spending time in prayer.

In Christ,

your brother Ben

Pictures say it all.

Here's a little taste of what my summer has been like on the days I'm not working...

I miss you guys all so much! Wish you were here!

Much Love,

Byman

God of Wonders!

Today as I surfed facebook I came upon an album filled with kids, joy, excitement, and our beloved Camp Qwanoes. I was SO encouraged to see the way that God is working in that place this summer! I saw all of my favorite places in this album - the dock, the stairs, the lodge, the field, Q town soccer house, and club cocoa - but they were covered with children! My mind was flooded with precious memories of each of you and of times that the Lord had taught me big things at the Camp. What an invaluable year - I'm so thankful for our time together. This summer has come with all kinds of challenges and joys, one HUGE JOY has come in the form of a piece of land called Luseland Bible Camp. Although I am working full time the Lord has graciously opened doors for me to minister at camp this summer and I have been blessed beyond what I can explain! I was worried that leaving Kaleo might mean spiritually maturing and learning slower or less, however God has been proving to me that he can work in all situations in al kinds of ways - He has been holding me so closely this summer and walking with me moment by moment. Two days ago a little girl looked up at me through huge gorgeous eyes and said, "Kaitlyn how is it possible that I didn't know there was a God who loved me before this week, and that Jesus died for ME?" THAT is the God we serve, I lost my composure as I witnessed him reveal himself SO GRACIOUSLY to a nine year old girl. Something I want to share with you guys - something God has been speaking often to me lately. We have a position - Be aware of it! Our position is a CHILD OF GOD. THis is not said lightly, CHILD OF THE LIVING KING - The bible says that we are ALREADY seated in the heavenly places - I've been listening to The Desert Song lots lately - I am a conqueror and co heir with Christ - Do you believe that today?

For he raised us from the dead along with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms because we are united with Christ Jesus. Ephesians 2:6

I LOVE and miss each of you and think of you often. Keep pressing on towards the goal!