Kaleo 09/10

I am writing this with a sorrow filled heart. A heart that beats but wishes it would stop suddenly to keep anything else form happening to it. A few days ago Kaitlin had another MRI which results I have even a hard time typing out. Kaitlins tumor has returned bigger and changed. Not only has the tumor returned to its original state and position. It has also moved and spread to inoperable parts of her brain where it will continue to grow and further spread. And now I am faced with a decision. A surgery is going to be happening on either Thursday or Friday and as some of you now know, or all of you depending on how tight some of your lips are. I am heading out to Briercrest as well for this following year and this would set back my leave date significantly, probably push it back up until first day of classes. I feel unbelievably torn since I have been anticipating getting out of here for months now and I can taste the freedom on the tip of my tongue. I feel a slight peace about what’s happening but still feel like I should stay due to ties with my mother and sisters. I have yet to discuss this with Olivia but she is due to return home tonight from west coast trail. From this point there seems to be no hope at all. At first there always was some distant light but right now that light is diminished as we face this new reality. My only hope for life now rests in her salvation and the Lord. I guess sometimes the miracle itself isn’t the miracle we expected.