Hands and Feet

Ahh sweet memories. Tim you definitely brought back many!

I thought I was doing ok, but every time I find myself looking at pictures or just thinking about Kaleo... which turns out to be a lot, my heart seems to explode all over again. I miss all of you so much it’s crazy... I’m going crazy! Hah. This last week, I felt like running far away from everyone and everything, just like Katie loved to leave notes about her never returning! I will be honest, I have not had a good week at all. My heart seems to be shifting, I don’t know exactly what’s going on inside of me but it feels raw and in some ways wrong. There have been times this week where I felt like I wanted to close myself off and shut everyone out, I am writing this in an intentional step against that. I KNOW that is what the enemy would love for me to do. I have felt under attack most of the week in ways like what I just mentioned. Things that remind me of my old self, my cold heart, surround me and Satan is trying to make them appear appealing to me. My thoughts are not as centered on Christ and there have been days this week where I don’t know why I’m even trying. Am I really making a difference? In my workplace? At home? Or am I just another ordinary person living in this world? Do others really see Christ in me? In the way I treat others, the way I live? Is my true character pleasing to God? Not who I am when everything is fine, but who I am when treated unfairly or blamed for something I did not do. Is all of this pleasing God? How can I be real but yet show others my love for Christ?

These are only a few of the many things I am questioning and feeling out. I am feeling extremely frustrated and hopeless. Please pray for a renewed hope. For my heart to be brought close to God’s and softened over and over again. For an overwhelming love for those around me, for a desire to encourage them.

I am learning a bit more of what it means to be devoted to God. I’m realizing that it is going to take lots of effort and energy. It will not come easy, it means being intentional. I realize that the world and my sinful heart are both eagerly pulling me away from my Saviour! That without God, life would be dull and suck in soooo many ways, that there would be no point. It would be a struggle. And with God there is so much fulfillment and true joy, however, there is struggle and suffering involved as well. It pays to struggle with a purpose, to struggle to stay near to God... to fight! This is where endurance kicks in during this race. I figure it’s like the plank, you have to hold it longer than you think you can, longer than you previously did. Just focus on breathing. Otherwise you will do all of this sweating and hurting for nothing because you will not become stronger unless you push to the absolute limit and then some, it’s not going to kill you, you just think it will.

I would love to see with ‘new eyes’ the hope and joy that comes with this life of being a disciple of Jesus.

So a bit of what my life has looked like these past could weeks...

As many of you already know, I had a big race out of province a few weeks ago and ended up winning! It was incredible how God worked everything out. I wasn’t even going to go, because I felt really out of shape coming off of school (Don’t laugh!! I know some of you are. That is how I felt!). My friends’ mom came up to me a few days before they left and asked me if she could sponsor me for the race... pay my whole way. She is a believer! I had previously been praying and asking God wether or not I should be going to this race or if he even wanted me racing at all this summer. I decided to roll with it and accepted. It was hard spending the weekend with most of the developmental team. Let’s just say the environment isn’t the purest or uplifting. I found it hard to make time for God as we did everything together. In the end it was very fun despite the psycho winds and pelting rain. The win all came together so perfectly! Racing for Jesus ROCKS! haha, I still have much to learn!



I am working at a restaurant that is part of a golf course as a waitress. The people there seem to be pretty nice, but it is hard getting to know people... I think it will be good though once I do. I work mostly evenings fairly late (I am up later than I ever was in Kaleo, I don’t like it) but it is nice because I have all day to spend training, reading and doing odd jobs.

I still am not connected in a church. I am finding it really difficult because of races that take place some sundays, and work. I tried to find a cell group or someway of getting connected in the only church that offers saturday services in Steiner, but they did not have any that suited my odd and crazy schedule. So I am feeling really isolated and alone a lot of the time.
This church though has a sweet prayer room, it’s just like ours except on drugs! I love going there... except it doesn’t feel as cozy and free as ours did.

There are a LOT of days that I still miss my Gramps very deeply. My heart goes out to my mom and my Granny. I clean for my Granny every other week and am doing what I can to take care of her. It brings so much heart ache to clean his half of their room, I don’t know how my Granny does it.

I feel as though so many people have been torn away from me all at once.
I know that I have been so blessed to have every one of them, every one of YOU in my life, but it doesn’t make things easier.

2 Peter 1:3-11 Check it out!

~ Hales ~