well this is long over due.
Many times have Marissa and I tried making videos for the blog and failed! And a little info bob doesn’t check the blog…. So Matthew and I have been keeping him updated. John is a dancing machine, and ellie is rock’n it being a counselor!
Last weekend I had 3 days off so I went to salt spring island to camp, by myself. It rained a lot! So Saturday I spent in my rain suit driving around on a scooter, went to the Saturday market and the library. Sunday it cleared up so I traveled the island and ate at some cute café’s. Headed back to camp Monday morning.
I’ve been around many great people this summer (many from Briercrest, which makes me what to go… but I’m not)
My minds all over he place so this will be too…
This summer I’ve gotten really close to the couples here at camp. They’re at a different point in life, which makes for different conversation.. haha. And they are older so I’ve been looking up to a few of them too. One of the couples I’ve gotten close to has just recently been brought into my “thoughts” I’ve opened up to the wife telling her things I’ve held back from a lot for you. We also share the same dream, living in community, sharing a big piece of land building our own homes growing our own food and making our own clothes. And having a small store on site of things our community makes. She is truly someone I want to keep in my life.
I’ve been offered a position here at camp to be a senior kitchen helper for the year. And well I accepted it. I’ll be here… for another year… Hahah it makes me laugh… but I’m excited to hangout with the staff I’ve gotten to know so well.
Because I’ll be here for a year, I’ll be heading home tomorrow… as in Tuesday. For a month. I’m not going home for the sake of seeing family.. I would’ of been here till Christmas if I wasn’t going through this again… and well my depression is hitting harder then ever.. I‘m not able to function at camp without braking down into tears, or having a panic attack.. Which is happening twice a week for me this past month. So yesterday I packed up my room putting everything into storage but my two suitcases and moved to the badke’s home till I leave. I really wish things were different. That I didn’t have to leave. That I could stay and say I did a summer at camp. Also something else is wrong …. I’m not too sure yet what it is.. But I had to get a blood test for 7 different things their checking on.. And now they want me to get some scans when I’m home too.
My dad has a job now.. He’s been living in Montréal for the past 2 weeks. And while I’m home my mom and I are driving down to visit him… and there is talk about me going to NB to visit my grandparents, they’re both not doing so well. And they live in Riverview… hello nick and Katie! I might miss nick… but Katie you’ll be around eh?
Then around the 15th of September I’ll be heading back here just before the kaleo’s arrive….
It’s going to be really hard for me to be leaving this place. I haven’t had the break from here yet. I left for a week but just hung out in vic, Courtney, and Duncan with my parents. I haven’t been “home” in 8 months. After that week I came back to camp and helped clean your rooms…. Hahahh that was hard!!!
So I hope I don’t break down even more and fall into the world’s traps. I’m going back to London.. where my mom, sister and sisters husband are living in a 2 bedroom apartment with my dog and their cat… and our home in Sarnia is up for sale but my mom is taking me there to live for a few days… but I don’t think being alone is the best for me, I’m to unstable. I feel numb
Crying Girl: [reading from paper] I wish we could all get along like we used to in middle school... I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy...
[about to cry]
Damian: [shouting from back] She doesn't even go here!
Ms. Norbury: Do you even go to this school?
Crying Girl: No... I just have a lot of feelings...
Ms. Norbury: Ok go home...
[girl walks off stage]
Ms. Norbury: Next!
3 comments:
Rivs, I am proud of you. You are taking steps to find what is best for you and that takes a lot maturity. For sure there will be hard times but I know that there will be blessings as well. I hope that there will be some good conversations and experiences with your family. I found a trick for curing numbness, maybe you could use it. I simply look at endless pictures from Kaleo until my heartbreaks. Also know that God made you special and your relationship with Him, that is your journey to Him, will look like no one else's. I pray in confidence that he will lead you to better places in his perfect timing. Cheers and let me know when you are in Riverview, I am only an hour and a half away! Much love sister.
Rivera, it's been such a joy spending the last 2 months (and all of Kaleo before that!) with you. I've noticed your connection to the couples here and i think the ones you've been looking to are incredible individuals to model yourself after. Ive loved seeing the bonds you've been developing and the joy you bring to me and so many. Some of our funniest moments have been ones we've shared here. I'm really going to miss you this next week and a half, but I'm so proud of your decision to go home and get help. We (both k7 and the Qwanoes staff) are behind you in this. I love you tons. You go, Glen Coco.
Matthew
I love how you called one of the people your getting close to "the wife"... just sayin.
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