I work in construction, notorious for the low standards of propriety and wholesome talk. Sufficed to say that I have encountered a fair amount of swearing, dirty talk, relentless teasing (but supposedly in good fun) and heard some really messed up values. The guys I work with are great. They do work hard, they are extremely caring and even look out for me, teaching me so I can be a more valuable worker. I really appreciate all of this and consider it a grace of God to be able to recognize these things in my fellow workers. And yet all their careless talk wears on my ears. It is hard to say why or how but when all this very corrupting and evil conversation lands in my ears it somehow creates a darkness over my heart. Lately that darkness has been in the form of laziness. When I get home I just want to play games on the computer when I know I should be writing to someone, reading some bibles or other good stuff, or simply enjoying God's creation. I avoid helping my family and justify it saying that I worked hard all day and I have nothing left to spend on others. Well if I remain in this state of living and continue to call myself a Christian, I will be that which Paul warns against in 2 Timothy, having the appearance of godliness but denying it's power. God is pretty powerful and so I should have enough energy to do what he lays on my heart, and even if I don't, the moments when I have no desire to, but still obey the will of God are the moments when God is greatly glorified in my actions. I also don't want this darkness to turn into a bitterness towards these guys whom God loves.
I guess a lot of posting this blog was so I could confess the truth and thereby make it more tangible to myself. But I do need lots of help from your prayers. Pray that I be guarded from all unrighteousness and foolish talk. Pray that I know how to respond in each instance. Here is the big one for me, pray that I be bold enough to tell my co-workers how I feel about their crude humor so that they may know that I am different. I have no doubt that if the can grasp how serious I am, they will respect it but I can also see them teasing me more, or thinking me to be some patronizing egotist who thinks himself to above their humor. This isn't the case. I want to be delivered from their sin so I can love more freely. I am going to humble myself here and ask that if you all have encouragement for me, I need it. Not just the feel good stuff (although it is welcome), but hard pills to swallow if that be necessary. Pray that I rediscover a worshipful heart and that I don't let this darkness take hold, but that God would oust it and deliver me.
Love you all dearly, love hearing about you guys and if you are thinking that you just posted something and should wait until there is something new, well don't. Post updates often, even if they seem to be getting redundant because it keeps you all fresh in my mind and in my heart. Thank you my brothers and sister, grace and peace is with us. Cheers.
3 comments:
I wonder what it was like for Jesus, hanging out with tax collectors, prostitutes and "sinners" (i.e., people who had given up trying to meet the expectations of the Pharisees and teachers of the law)? I am sure he shared much of your experience, and while it broke his heart, it was for the people themselves that his heart was broken. And then he would, I'm sure, pull out a story of his own, and they were strangely drawn to him. Tall order for sure. But a good thing to think about.
May God give you new ways to re-energize that will make computer games seem as much fun as watching grass grow.
Oh, yes I am familiar with that type of life. When I get home from work I am almost dead! I had been skipping out on my devotions as of lately so I decided to get up at 5:00 to spend my waking hours with God instead exhausted hours that I have after work. Try it and see if it works for you. And it's awesome that you can see the good in your co workers. My uncle is very hard on me at work. He calls me stupid and illiterate and yells at me all day but yet i know that he cares about my success in construction. Keep looking for the good in your co-workers and encourage them in the good things that they do. My youth pastor said that when he was in construction, he brought a man to tears because he offered a simple encouragement, something that is not to common in that environment.
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